Well, hello there! (Big, deeply warm hug)
I recently had the privilege of interviewing Agape Garcia, the founder and current executive director of Confronting Domestic Violence Inc. (CDV), an organization providing relocation services to victims of domestic violence. In my interview, Agape shared her own story of surviving an attempted double homicide at the hands of her child's father, and how twenty years later, her circumstances led to the birth of Confronting Domestic Violence a 501©3.
Read Agape’s story and find out how to support CDV.
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Agape, a determined, purpose-filled woman, shared with me how she and her unborn baby survived an attempted double homicide at the hands of her child's father. After testifying against him in court, Agape recalls the feeling of not knowing her partner, the one who attempted to kill her and her unborn baby. She also remembers the feeling of knowing he would be walking into a jail cell, provided a guaranteed bed, three meals a day, showers, and heat while, at the same time, she would find herself, her unborn baby (scheduled to arrive in 45 days), and her eight-year-old daughter displaced.
Due to being 8 months pregnant Agape couldn’t get a job. The burden of being the sole provider while knowing soon, she would be recovering from delivering a baby, was overwhelming. The reality that her life, her future, and all that she had worked towards up to that point, had taken a drastic turn, left her grieving while the impact of the psychological aftermath of trauma (triggers, confusion, anger, fear, extreme independence, etc.), left her running on adrenaline. Agape went into survival mode to support herself and her children. “I know what it's like to be left with nothing while my abuser is handed a meal and given a bed, a library, legal help in prison. I knew I had the fight in me, and I used the fuel from that fight to survive; to find transportation, to find housing, to get the help I needed”, Says Agape about her situation.
Agape was able to take the fierce resilience that helped her survive her childhood, and now, an attempted double homicide, and use it as fuel to rebuild her life, becoming the sole provider for her two children, but…not without help and not without hustle.
In my blog, 5 Basic Needs When Leaving an Abusive Relationship, I write about short-term housing being one of those needs. Agape, knowing she could no longer afford her apartment while unemployed, and on her own, found herself in her apartment complex’s leasing office to see if she could get her name off her leasing agreement. While there, a woman, who understood her situation shared with her that if she was able to get off the agreement she could technically stay in the apartment until she was officially evicted. This provided Agape with the short-term housing she needed to not become homeless. Agape took the advice and stayed as long as she could; some days this meant no electricity, but it allowed her the time she needed to find long-term shelter. Eventually, Agape and her children lived in a room in someone’s home while she got on her feet.
Agape recalls asking a neighbor if her older daughter could play with their child while Agape spent time dealing with the aftermath of her abusers’ conviction. She wanted to shield her daughter as much as possible from further trauma and worry about where their next meal would come from. Agape believes everybody needs help to succeed and she is grateful for supportive neighbors and friends.
Fast forward 20 years…after becoming a helicopter mom, enduring many rocky roads along the way, and staying off social media for safety, Agape was able to provide herself and her children with a safe life. Until, one day, she opened her eyes while lying in a hospital bed in the ICU. Agape had survived a car crash that left her all but dead. Unable to speak clearly, write legibly, walk, feed herself, or move a limb, she was told by doctors they were giving her a 1% chance of surviving.
Once stabilized, Agape realized she could no longer rely on herself, or her resilience as she couldn’t fight for herself in this situation. To regain her life, she would have to petition her creator to fight for her. It was in this place of pure surrender she began to ask questions that eventually gave her a purpose for LIVING. Why did I survive? Why am I here? What do you want me to do with the life I have left to live? What can I do to serve my purpose? Why was my life worth saving? And with these questions Agape realized she had been hiding, not sharing her story, not using her story to help others. She decided her creator spared her life to help others with similar stories who are fighting for their safety. It was with this newfound passion Agape was motivated to heal physically and start the nonprofit, Confronting Domestic Violence, Inc. a 501©3
Confronting Domestic Violence is a non-profit organization located in California providing real time resources because they know needs change as fast as circumstances. If families have a safe place to go but not the means to get there, CDV steps in and offers relocation services. CDV believes, “No parent should have to leave everything behind when moving for safety. We make sure to provide people with something more than what they had before they called. From access to a bigger community resource like domesticshelters.org to a conversation helping a person determine what his/her next steps should be.”
Although Agape sustains bodily injury from the double attempted homicide, she believes in mind over matter and post-traumatic growth (PTG). She feels it is important for survivors to think positively when moving forward, identifying flags within and truly getting to know and spend time with self.
At the end of my interview Agape wanted to leave readers with this Pro Tip: If you are involved in some way with the justice system while fleeing domestic violence, get a domestic violence advocate. An advocate can help you navigate the system, provide you with information on what is available to you, and potentially be a direct referral for you. An advocate can also look into where your partner is in the prison system (whether they have appealed, when they are getting out, etc.).
Agape still works a regular job to keep the lights on, but her passion and, “obsession” is helping victims and survivors with children, safely leave their abuse environment through tangible resources which Agape finds, “extremely fulfilling”
If you’d like to support this amazing organization and help those ready to leave domestic violence, consider a taxable donation, participating in their upcoming event, A Taste of Old Hollywood, volunteering, or sponsorship.
Click here to navigate to the Confronting Domestic Violence website.
If you are a California business and want to comply with SB553, a portion of your proceeds go toward CDV.
I hope you have a safe place to sleep tonight and a full belly. Praying for your mental health.
-Evangeline
For more on developing a relationship with Jesus while Living with C-PTSD, grab your copy of Evangeline’s first book, Calling Him Trusted.
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